I’m not even sure If I’m awake now.

railroadsoftware:

person: so what have you been up to
me: (speaking very humble) well, I just got some new carpet.. it’s plush…
person: (trying not to sound envious) pl… plush? wow. I hear thats the nicest of all carpets
me: oh it’s nothing..

boomsticks-and-firewater:

puellamagidolaon:

lovrdlogic:

When you crack your knuckles you hurt the skeleton inside you

Good, the skeleton needs to know that I am the alpha and I am in control.

Break your own bones to establish dominance over skeleton.

deathpup:

first rule of fight club

  1. no fightin!…shakira shakiraaa

cbjeebies:

peispes:

How to create a character:

  1. mash some things together until they resemble a concept
  2. release the steering wheel
  3. ??? screaming ????
  4. rescue what you can from the scene of the accident

This is actually the most accurate description of character creation I have ever read.

420core:

fuckboii420:

supermunchor:

i love these i have a folder dedicated to them

this is my favorite subgenre of post-ironic memes

discount memes are the future

raikagay:

remember like 2 years ago when christmas stopped feeling like christmas for some reason

fagflow:

mortychrist:

when i was 14, i proposed to this girl in my class and she said yes but our parents said we were too young to get married so we tried to do it in secret and one of my friends found this shady guy to marry us but then the girl broke up with me when she transferred schools and we never got the marriage annulled but i don’t even know if it was official in the first place so long story short, i think i might be married. 

pearswhy:

pearswhy:

are cats solar powered?? why are they always trying to lie in the sun

image

what the fuck. i was making a joke but its actually true

officialunitedstates:

you call me up in the middle of the night complaining about being scared of the rocks in your backyard and I will come over right away and punch them for you.  consider it a perk of my friendship

alienbun:

soft communism. plush hammers and sickles. pastel pink banners. lenin in a flower crown.

unclefather:

this is photoshopped. skeletons are not capable of love.